1 00:00:05,751 --> 00:00:10,083 Scenes of city life. 2 00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,584 Hello, my name is Tanyaradzwa. 3 00:05:25,834 --> 00:05:28,667 I was born in Masvingo. I'm 23 years old. 4 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,667 That day, 5 00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:14,959 chased by the Spanish forces of occupation, 6 00:07:15,459 --> 00:07:17,417 tired of the lack of freedom, 7 00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:20,000 of the violation of human rights, 8 00:07:20,292 --> 00:07:23,417 and of the corruption of the European capitalist regime, 9 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,751 I left for Africa. 10 00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:29,375 There I met Tanyaradzwa. 11 00:10:34,626 --> 00:10:40,501 Scenes of rural life. 12 00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:59,334 Mbuya Nehanda, 13 00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:13,167 Nehanda was a spiritual medium. 14 00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:20,167 She knew there were people "without knees" coming 15 00:11:20,584 --> 00:11:23,001 before the whites came. 16 00:11:27,417 --> 00:11:30,250 She even told the people 17 00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:34,334 that there were white people coming. 18 00:11:35,083 --> 00:11:38,834 In Shona they call them "vasina mabvi" ("without knees"). 19 00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:46,083 But she told them not to harm them. 20 00:11:47,584 --> 00:11:50,083 When the white people arrived 21 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:53,834 the blacks fought with them and took them to Nehanda. 22 00:11:54,501 --> 00:11:59,834 But she said: "Let them free until we know what they are up to 23 00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:03,834 and the reason why they came here." 24 00:12:04,584 --> 00:12:11,083 But as time went by, the whites started abusing the blacks, 25 00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:19,001 taking their cattle, goods, everything; 26 00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:27,250 taking the fertile lands and giving the black sandy soil. 27 00:12:29,834 --> 00:12:32,334 So the people were not happy with the situation, 28 00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,417 not less Nehanda. 29 00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:38,000 The whites knew the black people had power. 30 00:12:38,334 --> 00:12:42,834 They knew we could fight a spiritual war. 31 00:12:45,167 --> 00:12:49,250 We had the power to talk to God. 32 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:53,000 They knew the only way for them to conquer us 33 00:12:53,751 --> 00:12:59,834 was by killing Nehanda and Kaguvi. 34 00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:04,417 If Nehanda didn't want them to kill her 35 00:13:04,834 --> 00:13:08,250 they wouldn't be able to kill her. 36 00:13:08,501 --> 00:13:11,250 But she said that her spirit would rise again. 37 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:15,834 She said: "They can kill me now, but my spirit shall rise again." 38 00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:20,250 They took Sekuru Kaguvi and Mbuya Nehanda 39 00:13:20,584 --> 00:13:23,001 and hanged them. 40 00:13:23,584 --> 00:13:28,501 The tree where they hanged them is here in Harare, 41 00:13:29,834 --> 00:13:34,417 but I don't know whether that is the real tree. 42 00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:37,334 People don't care about the tree anymore 43 00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:41,167 although we talk about Nehanda and Kaguvi all the time. 44 00:13:41,584 --> 00:13:44,751 People know these are our spiritual mediums that protect us. 45 00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:48,083 They just say: "This is the tree", but do nothing about it. 46 00:13:48,334 --> 00:13:51,167 They don't look after it. 47 00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:57,751 The whites took Nehanda's and Kaguvi's heads 48 00:14:00,417 --> 00:14:04,417 and sent them to Britain. 49 00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:09,834 The whites were doing the same in other parts of Africa. 50 00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:13,417 Whenever they met a spiritual leader, 51 00:14:13,918 --> 00:14:16,834 they would kill them and remove their heads. 52 00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,667 What I know is that Nehanda is still alive 53 00:14:20,083 --> 00:14:24,667 because the flesh dies but the spirit will live forever. 54 00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:29,584 This woman was very strong. 55 00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:34,417 If she didn't have the power 56 00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:39,167 she wouldn't have known the whites were coming. 57 00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:49,167 As she said, I know that her spirit will rise again, somewhere, 58 00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:52,250 in another person. 59 00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:56,001 I know she's looking after us right now. 60 00:14:56,584 --> 00:15:00,751 We'll always remember her, she's our spiritual leader. 61 00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:06,000 And also Sekuru Kaguvi. That's why we talk about them all the time, 62 00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:09,751 and we learn about them, 63 00:15:10,001 --> 00:15:12,834 and we teach the young about them. 64 00:15:13,167 --> 00:15:19,834 They are the spiritual mediums that protect our country, Zimbabwe. 65 00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:47,042 A long time ago, our people 66 00:15:48,042 --> 00:15:51,667 used to follow their own culture 67 00:15:52,876 --> 00:15:57,375 and do traditional ceremonies. 68 00:15:57,792 --> 00:16:00,626 They used to gather to play mbira 69 00:16:01,417 --> 00:16:05,000 and sing and drink and invoke the spirits. 70 00:16:05,626 --> 00:16:12,501 They would talk to God through the spirits. 71 00:16:13,459 --> 00:16:19,542 But these days people are no longer doing it, 72 00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:24,000 and things are becoming hard in our country. 73 00:16:24,292 --> 00:16:27,042 People no longer do what they used to do, 74 00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:31,292 they don't wear the clothes they used to wear. 75 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:36,083 Now they follow the white man's foreign culture. 76 00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:40,000 If we don't follow our culture, rains may not come, 77 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:44,876 and poverty will arrive. 78 00:16:45,209 --> 00:16:49,459 I love my culture and I stick to it. 79 00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:56,042 I'm not supposed to follow the culture 80 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:01,584 of every white, yellow, pink, green or blue person I meet. 81 00:17:03,209 --> 00:17:08,001 Our culture is important because your culture is what you are. 82 00:17:08,667 --> 00:17:12,667 Many bad things can happen if you don't stick to your culture. 83 00:17:14,125 --> 00:17:20,584 You may not find a job, no matter how educated you may be. 84 00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:27,334 But if you stick to it, everything will go smoothly. 85 00:17:28,792 --> 00:17:35,125 You can have much money but it may just disappear 86 00:17:36,709 --> 00:17:43,001 because there are so many evil spirits around; 87 00:17:44,501 --> 00:17:50,375 they can be living within you and bring you bad luck. 88 00:17:50,918 --> 00:17:56,292 Every member of your family can make you suffer by driving evil spirits to you. 89 00:17:56,709 --> 00:18:01,250 I you follow your culture nothing bad will happen to you. 90 00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:05,792 I admire people who go back to their culture. 91 00:18:06,542 --> 00:18:09,834 Some people seem so surprised 92 00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:14,834 when they see me taking my snuff everywhere. 93 00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:20,167 Seeing me so young, they think I'll be calling evil spirits, 94 00:18:20,709 --> 00:18:24,459 so they want to pray for me thinking I'm possessed. 95 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,834 But I don't care, because I know where I come from. 96 00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:30,876 For me, in order to know where I am and where I'm going to, 97 00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:33,876 I have to know first where I come from. 98 00:18:34,209 --> 00:18:37,000 So no one can stop me from following my own culture, 99 00:18:37,459 --> 00:18:39,542 no matter how young I am. 100 00:18:40,125 --> 00:18:43,751 I don't live for anyone, I live for myself. 101 00:18:44,459 --> 00:18:47,709 I know that my ancestors are looking after me, 102 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:51,167 because it's the flesh that dies, not the spirit. 103 00:18:51,459 --> 00:18:54,834 There are so many spirits in the air we breathe that protect us. 104 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,876 If you think about it, you shouldn't adopt other people's culture, 105 00:18:58,042 --> 00:19:01,417 you shouldn't follow customs that you don't know, 106 00:19:01,667 --> 00:19:04,334 wear clothes that don't belong to you, 107 00:19:04,792 --> 00:19:09,375 put on somebody else's hair...: 108 00:19:09,834 --> 00:19:13,209 you are putting unknown spirits on your body. 109 00:19:13,417 --> 00:19:17,083 You should always remember where you come from, 110 00:19:17,334 --> 00:19:20,501 especially here in Zimbabwe. 111 00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:23,501 I admire people who stick to their culture 112 00:19:23,918 --> 00:19:26,250 in spite of the difficulties. 113 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:28,792 That's the only solution to our problems. 114 00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:33,959 When you are having problems what you must do 115 00:19:34,125 --> 00:19:36,918 is just to take your snuff. 116 00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:40,417 You should wake up early in the morning, 117 00:19:41,125 --> 00:19:44,959 take your wooden plate, kneel down, 118 00:19:46,292 --> 00:19:49,667 put the snuff in it, little by little, 119 00:19:52,709 --> 00:19:56,334 and talk to your ancestors, telling them what you want from them, 120 00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:59,751 in order to chase the evil spirits away. 121 00:20:00,083 --> 00:20:02,918 And when you bathe, you should also use your snuff. 122 00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:05,792 Snuff is a strong herb that was being used a long time ago 123 00:20:06,334 --> 00:20:09,417 and we're still using it 124 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:14,000 and the generations to come will be using it. 125 00:20:14,792 --> 00:20:17,959 We can't stop using it here in Zimbabwe. 126 00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:21,167 Shona is no longer our language. 127 00:20:21,334 --> 00:20:22,918 People speak English now. 128 00:20:23,083 --> 00:20:27,334 Only 2% of the population know how to count 1-10 in shona. 129 00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:30,083 That's leaving behind our culture. 130 00:20:30,417 --> 00:20:33,501 Children should be taught deep Shona in school. 131 00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:37,792 It would help them stick to their culture 132 00:20:38,042 --> 00:20:42,125 and so create a better future. 133 00:20:42,459 --> 00:20:46,042 In other countries they speak their own languages 134 00:20:46,292 --> 00:20:48,626 and are proud of them. 135 00:20:48,876 --> 00:20:52,959 Here, if you speak Shona in Harare, you'd be embarrassed 136 00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:57,167 because everyone would be speaking in English. 137 00:20:57,459 --> 00:21:01,375 We should keep our culture so that we become the same people 138 00:21:01,667 --> 00:21:05,375 that were living here before us. 139 00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:09,209 There's nothing new under the sun. 140 00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:12,000 You cannot change anything. 141 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:15,042 The only new things humankind can get 142 00:21:15,250 --> 00:21:18,042 are nuclear bombs and destruction weapons. 143 00:21:18,375 --> 00:21:20,918 But our way of living will always remain the same. 144 00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:23,751 That's why we must go back to our culture. 145 00:34:38,001 --> 00:34:45,501 Knowing yourself, trusting yourself, to know who you are, 146 00:34:47,918 --> 00:34:51,918 can make you be what you wanna be, 147 00:34:52,584 --> 00:34:59,334 because you won't be running away from yourself, you won't be denying yourself. 148 00:34:59,584 --> 00:35:02,417 Me, I can be whatever I wanna be. 149 00:35:02,751 --> 00:35:05,751 I can be wherever I wanna be. 150 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,042 Anything that I wanna be. 151 00:35:09,083 --> 00:35:13,584 So if I can be wherever I wanna be and whatever I wanna be, 152 00:35:13,834 --> 00:35:16,250 what can stop you? 153 00:35:17,584 --> 00:35:24,083 I don't get education, but I've got inspiration. 154 00:37:40,417 --> 00:37:43,918 I know the pain of the flesh 155 00:37:44,417 --> 00:37:48,334 and I know the pain of the soul. 156 00:44:01,584 --> 00:44:08,626 My ancestors, Oh Father, they have forsaken me. 157 00:44:09,417 --> 00:44:17,083 My ancestors, Oh King of Kings, they have forsaken me. 158 00:44:25,959 --> 00:44:29,542 Oh, oh, Father. 159 00:44:31,334 --> 00:44:35,334 The police are coming to us. 160 00:44:37,667 --> 00:44:41,292 They have forsaken me. 161 00:44:49,292 --> 00:44:51,417 Ah, ah, wait. I guess I got excited. 162 00:44:51,542 --> 00:44:53,000 I don't want to clap. 163 00:45:03,792 --> 00:45:06,209 Hello, my name's Tanyaradzwa. 164 00:45:06,375 --> 00:45:08,918 I was born in Masvingo 23 years ago. 165 00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:13,959 It was me and my mother and my sister and my brother. 166 00:45:14,125 --> 00:45:17,334 We went out. It was around 9. 167 00:45:17,792 --> 00:45:20,250 I saw a white thing. 168 00:45:22,292 --> 00:45:26,751 I told my mum: "There's a white thing that is following us. 169 00:45:27,709 --> 00:45:29,751 I guess it's like a dog, 170 00:45:30,334 --> 00:45:32,375 but it's too white." 171 00:45:32,792 --> 00:45:35,125 My mum checked and said: "There's nothing. 172 00:45:35,417 --> 00:45:37,667 You're just scared because it's dark." 173 00:45:37,876 --> 00:45:41,083 But I would check again: "There is". 174 00:45:41,292 --> 00:45:44,250 Now I was scared, because I was seeing it. 175 00:45:44,375 --> 00:45:47,709 My mother wasn't drunk, though she used to drink beer. 176 00:45:48,001 --> 00:45:51,001 I was surprised my mum couldn't see it, 177 00:45:51,292 --> 00:45:54,584 because it would be in front now. 178 00:45:54,918 --> 00:46:00,959 I could check now that white thing was side to side with us. 179 00:46:02,167 --> 00:46:06,083 Then we just went there. I didn't have fun. 180 00:46:12,001 --> 00:46:14,626 When we were coming back, my mum said: 181 00:46:14,834 --> 00:46:16,292 "Do you want to use that same road?" 182 00:46:16,417 --> 00:46:17,751 But I was so scared: 183 00:46:18,292 --> 00:46:22,501 "Mum, let's use the tarred road. 184 00:46:22,709 --> 00:46:25,334 I'm scared. I saw it." 185 00:46:25,459 --> 00:46:27,042 "Ah, come on, let's go." 186 00:46:27,375 --> 00:46:31,751 I didn't see anything. When we were reaching our home, there was a hole, 187 00:46:32,001 --> 00:46:38,083 there was a house being built, so there was a hole with mud. 188 00:46:38,417 --> 00:46:41,292 And it was there, sleeping. 189 00:46:42,083 --> 00:46:46,501 I don't know if it was sleeping, but it was like... you know... 190 00:46:47,501 --> 00:46:52,001 Then we went home. Then my father came back, after a week. 191 00:46:52,292 --> 00:46:55,501 Our toilet was outside. 192 00:46:57,292 --> 00:46:59,167 I wanted to pee. 193 00:46:59,667 --> 00:47:03,209 It was around one. I went out. 194 00:47:03,501 --> 00:47:08,918 There were mountains opposite. 195 00:47:09,626 --> 00:47:14,083 I saw the white thing on top of the mountain. 196 00:47:14,626 --> 00:47:16,334 I was so scared. 197 00:47:17,334 --> 00:47:23,125 But I don't know what made me stay there and look again: I saw fire, 198 00:47:25,792 --> 00:47:31,000 fire like... you know... 199 00:47:31,667 --> 00:47:36,001 Instead of peeing in the toiled, I peed where I was standing. 200 00:47:36,334 --> 00:47:40,375 Then I went home. I was so scared I told my mother: 201 00:47:40,709 --> 00:47:46,000 "That white thing I saw last time, it's there, and there's fire." 202 00:47:46,459 --> 00:47:51,292 My father woke up. We went to check: there was nothing. 203 00:47:52,250 --> 00:47:56,751 Then early in the morning an old man came, 204 00:47:57,167 --> 00:48:06,042 wearing only a black garment, just tying it, with no shoes, 205 00:48:06,626 --> 00:48:12,501 and with very old, ancient locks. 206 00:48:13,542 --> 00:48:17,334 He said: "We want to talk to you". 207 00:48:18,250 --> 00:48:21,792 My mother said: "What about?" 208 00:48:22,417 --> 00:48:25,667 "It's about your child. Let's go together." 209 00:48:26,834 --> 00:48:30,001 We went. There was a 'bira' ceremony, 210 00:48:30,167 --> 00:48:33,209 People were dancing and drinking in that village. 211 00:48:33,584 --> 00:48:37,001 We walked. And that old man could walk, 212 00:48:37,042 --> 00:48:39,459 It's not easy to live on the streets, 213 00:48:39,501 --> 00:48:42,417 but we were not used to the long distance. 214 00:48:42,501 --> 00:48:45,709 When we got there I'd go dancing. 215 00:48:45,918 --> 00:48:49,209 When we entered the house, there were more people putting on the same clothes, 216 00:48:49,250 --> 00:48:52,209 because you face many many things. 217 00:48:52,250 --> 00:48:55,626 others playing the mbira and the shakers. 218 00:48:56,292 --> 00:48:59,042 I remember they took water 219 00:48:59,083 --> 00:49:01,834 Waking up in the morning 220 00:49:01,876 --> 00:49:03,876 inside a clay pot. 221 00:49:03,918 --> 00:49:05,667 not even knowing what to eat 222 00:49:05,751 --> 00:49:07,751 If I can remember, it had snuff, because I sneezed. 223 00:49:07,792 --> 00:49:10,918 or where to go to look for money, just to beg. 224 00:49:10,959 --> 00:49:13,501 The old man just took water and washed my face with it. 225 00:49:13,542 --> 00:49:16,250 Then they started asking my mum questions and questions and questions. 226 00:49:16,292 --> 00:49:18,584 It would be more painful if you've got parents, 227 00:49:18,626 --> 00:49:22,083 They told her that it was a 'mhondoro'. 228 00:49:22,167 --> 00:49:25,417 that though they're alive, they don't even care for you. 229 00:49:25,501 --> 00:49:29,417 For me life on the street was really hard. 230 00:49:29,459 --> 00:49:32,417 It's a lion, but it changes to be a human being. 231 00:49:32,501 --> 00:49:34,792 The first time I came to Harare 232 00:49:34,834 --> 00:49:36,959 That old man who came to fetch us at home 233 00:49:37,001 --> 00:49:39,042 I didn't know where to go, where to start. 234 00:49:39,083 --> 00:49:40,792 was the same lion. 235 00:49:40,834 --> 00:49:44,001 The moment when you start looking for a place to stay, in the evening, 236 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:45,667 So from that time I could see that 237 00:49:45,709 --> 00:49:50,167 every street kid would be having his or her own base where to sleep. 238 00:49:50,250 --> 00:49:52,375 there's something about our culture, 239 00:49:53,709 --> 00:49:55,584 there's something about us. 240 00:49:55,626 --> 00:49:58,709 I didn't have any place to stay. 241 00:49:59,167 --> 00:50:06,501 I remember my first day in Harare. 242 00:50:06,918 --> 00:50:11,083 It was around 12 at night, I was so hungry, 243 00:50:11,334 --> 00:50:13,584 not even knowing where to sleep. 244 00:50:15,417 --> 00:50:23,083 There were some cardboards in a corner. I covered myself with them and slept. 245 00:50:23,501 --> 00:50:30,417 Around 2 it was just a kick: "You, wake up, what are you doing in my base?" 246 00:50:31,001 --> 00:50:34,417 I started crying. I was surrounded by street kids, 247 00:50:34,667 --> 00:50:40,001 dirty, smelling of glue and beer. 248 00:50:41,834 --> 00:50:49,001 Being a girl, I was so scared they would rape me or do something 249 00:50:49,751 --> 00:50:53,000 or maybe take my clothes. 250 00:50:55,167 --> 00:51:00,584 I woke up, started crying and explained to them I had nowhere to go 251 00:51:01,417 --> 00:51:03,834 and that I just wanted to be with them. 252 00:51:04,918 --> 00:51:09,250 Some first understood, some didn't. 253 00:51:10,001 --> 00:51:13,501 They allowed me to sleep there together. 254 00:51:13,834 --> 00:51:18,083 In the morning they told me: "Are you prepared to be on the street?" 255 00:51:18,250 --> 00:51:20,751 Because I had better clothes than them. 256 00:51:20,834 --> 00:51:23,751 I was looking good, and they were so surprised. 257 00:51:23,918 --> 00:51:26,834 "A girl like you coming to live on the street?" 258 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:31,667 I told them all my problems, then they understood. 259 00:51:32,501 --> 00:51:37,667 Then we went together, every morning, to beg. 260 00:51:37,918 --> 00:51:42,334 I never stole. My other friends were stealing, 261 00:51:44,501 --> 00:51:50,667 taking cell phones, handbags, beating people, especially at night, but not me. 262 00:51:51,083 --> 00:51:58,083 After 3 days there was another girl. It was now 2 giris and about 6 boys. 263 00:52:00,501 --> 00:52:04,250 We were helping each other, because for me to look for money at that time 264 00:52:04,584 --> 00:52:07,918 wasn't easy because I wasn'nt used to do it I didn't know how to do it. 265 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:12,000 I was even shy to beg for money, to be on the street. 266 00:52:12,751 --> 00:52:16,834 So they would come with food, even food from the bin, 267 00:52:18,001 --> 00:52:24,001 eating dirty food, rotten food... 268 00:52:27,667 --> 00:52:30,751 But I never felt sick, never felt ill. 269 00:52:31,417 --> 00:52:37,167 I stayed with them for about 6 months. 270 00:52:40,584 --> 00:52:50,918 Because of the love of music and arts, I was always singing, even in the street. 271 00:52:53,001 --> 00:52:59,501 Then I met these other guys, older than me, that were staying in the street, also. 272 00:53:03,334 --> 00:53:08,501 They told me about a place called Book Café: 273 00:53:09,001 --> 00:53:14,667 "There would be entertainment there, we can go one day to see what's going on there." 274 00:53:15,667 --> 00:53:19,001 I told them I didn't have a place to stay, 275 00:53:19,834 --> 00:53:26,834 and they took me to their base. It was not a house. It's called Harare Gardens. 276 00:53:27,083 --> 00:53:31,918 That's where people used to sell their art before the "Clean Up Campaign", 277 00:53:32,417 --> 00:53:37,751 and now it's only for theatre or big exhibitions like HIFA. 278 00:53:40,250 --> 00:53:44,667 We went to Book Café, one evening. It was my first time. 279 00:53:46,167 --> 00:53:50,834 Chiwoniso was playing mbira. I fell in love with the music. 280 00:53:54,918 --> 00:54:02,250 Then at night we went to Harare Gardens. To get inside the gate you need to pay, 281 00:54:02,501 --> 00:54:10,334 but only a little amount, because the security guards were understanding. 282 00:54:14,083 --> 00:54:20,334 You pay the money just for getting inside. There's a fence. 283 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:29,000 Then you have to pay another money to get inside where people do the theatre. 284 00:54:29,167 --> 00:54:34,667 There's only the tent on top. On the sides there's nothing. Only the shelter. 285 00:54:36,167 --> 00:54:43,167 So you sleep there, on the benches, the whole night. Mosquitoes. Cold. 286 00:54:45,083 --> 00:54:49,417 The guards would wake us up early, around 5 in the morning, 287 00:54:49,667 --> 00:54:52,584 so that no one would see that we slept there. 288 00:54:52,834 --> 00:54:56,334 After waking up, we'd look for the sun 289 00:54:57,501 --> 00:55:01,417 and we'd wash in a public toilet, there. 290 00:55:01,584 --> 00:55:04,417 We'd look for soap to wash our clothes 291 00:55:05,751 --> 00:55:11,667 and we'd find a place where to dry them, but a place which cannot be seen, because 292 00:55:15,167 --> 00:55:22,334 they wouldn't allow us to use the water. They wanted us to pay for it, though it was public. 293 00:55:22,918 --> 00:55:26,918 They said it was only to wash your hands, not your clothes. 294 00:55:27,083 --> 00:55:31,417 So we'd find a place to hang them so they would get dry. 295 00:55:33,083 --> 00:55:37,250 Then we'd spend the whole day together, some of them drinking. 296 00:55:37,751 --> 00:55:42,501 Me, I was just thinking of music and my arts, because I could crochet. 297 00:55:42,751 --> 00:55:46,167 I could make dresses, hats... 298 00:55:47,167 --> 00:55:53,584 I told one of the elder guys that I wish I could find a little money so 299 00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:57,417 I could make things to sell. 300 00:55:57,751 --> 00:56:03,001 Because in this life you end up going into the clubs. 301 00:56:05,751 --> 00:56:10,334 You know: We went to the Book Café and some other guys talked to my friends: 302 00:56:10,834 --> 00:56:13,834 "I like this girl, how much shall I give her?" 303 00:56:14,834 --> 00:56:19,667 For me it was difficult. The other guys really wanted me to do it: 304 00:56:19,834 --> 00:56:22,918 "You use condoms. There's nothing to worry about." 305 00:56:23,167 --> 00:56:26,334 "It's about getting money. Things are very difficult." 306 00:56:27,751 --> 00:56:32,417 "If he sleeps with you, he may love you and marry you..." 307 00:56:34,334 --> 00:56:41,334 At that time I was so scared of men. I didn't want to be involved in a relationship. 308 00:56:45,918 --> 00:56:52,167 I managed to find the money to start crocheting. 309 00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:01,834 The first day I made about 3 hats, and sold them. I was so happy. 310 00:57:01,918 --> 00:57:04,042 I managed to find more material 311 00:57:04,083 --> 00:57:06,125 Life and time in the kumusha. 312 00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:16,584 and I kept doing and doing until my money was stolen. 313 00:57:17,083 --> 00:57:20,167 So we started again hustling. 314 00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:46,125 Talking about the impossible... 315 00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,834 New things...! 316 00:57:50,417 --> 00:57:52,375 There's nothing new 317 00:58:34,918 --> 00:58:41,000 The other kids are out there, not knowing their father nor their mother. 318 00:58:41,751 --> 00:58:45,751 But they are still living. What matters is life. 319 00:58:48,834 --> 00:58:51,501 Jah has got his own reasons why I'm here. 320 00:58:52,167 --> 00:58:59,250 I don't live for my parents, I don't live for anybody: I live for myself. 321 00:59:00,417 --> 00:59:03,083 So I've got to find my own destiny. 322 00:59:22,250 --> 00:59:25,584 You know what life in the street is like. 323 00:59:26,667 --> 00:59:31,584 Drinking, smoking, taking "histalux" and glue... 324 00:59:32,083 --> 00:59:36,834 And clubbing. Because they won't allow us to go to other places. 325 00:59:37,167 --> 00:59:42,834 They won't allow us to go with no money. 326 00:59:43,501 --> 00:59:50,501 That day we were all drunk and went to this club called Tube, 327 00:59:50,918 --> 00:59:55,334 full of shit, they can fuck there... Just another place. 328 00:59:58,918 --> 01:00:03,751 I was with my friends, 4 guys and 3 giris. 329 01:00:04,417 --> 01:00:10,334 We were enjoying ourselves, when other guys came, big guys, older than us. 330 01:00:11,167 --> 01:00:20,083 They wanted ME. Because I used to wear short things, shorts and a top. 331 01:00:20,501 --> 01:00:25,584 I was looking good. He wanted me. 332 01:00:26,001 --> 01:00:31,584 My friends said: "No. We are not bitches, we just came here to enjoy ourselves. 333 01:00:31,751 --> 01:00:36,667 We are from the streets. We don't even have a place to stay." 334 01:00:36,918 --> 01:00:43,334 —"You can come to our place. I'm going to have you." —"No, you can't." 335 01:00:43,584 --> 01:00:48,250 There was a fight. He broke the bottle of beer he was drinking 336 01:00:48,584 --> 01:00:53,334 and cut my friend, who was trying to protect me. He said he was going to give me 337 01:00:53,584 --> 01:00:57,584 scars for life, for refusing to go with him. 338 01:00:58,001 --> 01:01:03,083 In the fight he cut my friend here. 339 01:01:03,834 --> 01:01:10,000 I was trying to defend myself. I just couldn't let him do whatever he wanted with me. 340 01:01:10,417 --> 01:01:13,001 That's when he cut me here, 341 01:01:13,834 --> 01:01:16,083 there and there. 342 01:01:16,501 --> 01:01:22,834 Just defending myself. Because he was moving the glass... 343 01:01:23,417 --> 01:01:27,083 These are real deep cuts. 344 01:01:27,417 --> 01:01:30,334 I think the deepest of them is this one. 345 01:01:30,751 --> 01:01:38,334 If you can see it, even the flesh on top is different from the others'. 346 01:01:39,001 --> 01:01:45,167 It was very deep. I could put my finger inside. 347 01:01:49,918 --> 01:01:52,167 It was really painful. 348 01:01:54,918 --> 01:01:58,667 But there's nothing I can change. I've got scars and I love them. 349 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:03,083 As for now I don't even have an ID; People can identify me from my scars. 350 01:02:04,334 --> 01:02:10,083 If I die on the street, my friends can identify my scars. 351 01:02:11,083 --> 01:02:13,167 So, that's my identity. 352 01:04:13,584 --> 01:04:17,751 The first time my father called me 353 01:04:18,083 --> 01:04:21,834 I was 11 years old. 354 01:04:22,334 --> 01:04:24,918 My mother was in South Africa at that time. 355 01:04:25,250 --> 01:04:29,501 He was sleeping in the bedroom. then he called me in the morning, 356 01:04:29,918 --> 01:04:32,751 around 8. 357 01:04:33,417 --> 01:04:39,417 And he said: "There's something on my back. Can you check it? I can't see it." 358 01:04:40,250 --> 01:04:44,584 Just because my father was a loving and caring father, 359 01:04:45,083 --> 01:04:50,501 and he showed us love, and when my mother wasn't around he looked after us, 360 01:04:50,834 --> 01:04:53,667 I thought: "Let's see what's happening." 361 01:04:54,584 --> 01:04:58,083 My young sister and my young brother entered the bedroom, 362 01:04:58,501 --> 01:05:03,001 and my father shouted at them: "Go out! Can't I talk to your sister 363 01:05:03,751 --> 01:05:06,834 without you people around? Go out and play." 364 01:05:06,918 --> 01:05:09,834 They went out. They didn't know what was going to happen. 365 01:05:12,167 --> 01:05:15,918 I tried to check. I told him there's nothing dirty. 366 01:05:16,751 --> 01:05:21,083 He said: "There is. Put your hand", and he touched my hand and put it there. 367 01:05:21,751 --> 01:05:27,334 Then he was touching me. Then I removed my hand and went out. 368 01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:32,001 He followed me. He apologized. He said: "I'm sorry. 369 01:05:32,334 --> 01:05:35,584 And don't tell anyone about this. It's only that I'm drunk. 370 01:05:35,834 --> 01:05:39,250 Promise me you won't tell anyone". I said: "I won't". 371 01:05:42,334 --> 01:05:46,584 Then we spent about 2 hours together, we had breakfast together; 372 01:05:47,334 --> 01:05:52,834 he went to work, and I went to see my mother's best friend. 373 01:05:54,250 --> 01:05:59,334 Then I told her, but I told her not to tell anyone. 374 01:06:00,001 --> 01:06:03,083 When my mother came, I told her. 375 01:06:03,584 --> 01:06:10,417 But the day I went to tell my mother's friend, my father just left money 376 01:06:11,584 --> 01:06:17,918 and he went off 4 days. He came when my mother was coming back from South Africa. 377 01:06:18,250 --> 01:06:21,250 He came evening, and my mother arrived afternoon. 378 01:06:21,667 --> 01:06:24,584 I told her, and she waited for him. 379 01:06:25,167 --> 01:06:27,584 He asked him. First he refused. 380 01:06:28,001 --> 01:06:30,167 The she said: "I'm going to the police. 381 01:06:30,501 --> 01:06:34,334 Our child is only 11, and she could not lie." 382 01:06:35,667 --> 01:06:40,250 My mother was crying: "How could you do such a thing to your own daughter?" 383 01:06:41,918 --> 01:06:45,083 Then my father apologized. He said: "I won't do it again. 384 01:06:45,125 --> 01:06:47,417 I've always wanted to know about my culture. 385 01:06:47,459 --> 01:06:50,667 I don't know what happened." Then my mother went to talk to 386 01:06:52,918 --> 01:06:59,584 his father, my grandpa. He didn't want to hear about it. He didn't even want to see her. 387 01:07:00,334 --> 01:07:04,292 And the reason is because he wanted to sleep with my mother. 388 01:07:04,375 --> 01:07:07,959 I've also wanted to know how my ancestors used to live, 389 01:07:08,001 --> 01:07:12,001 It was in the rural area. My auntie had told my mum: 390 01:07:12,083 --> 01:07:14,000 a long time ago. 391 01:07:14,042 --> 01:07:18,501 "You have to go to the fields.. Go and get some pumpkin leaves" 392 01:07:18,834 --> 01:07:22,001 My mum, just because she was an in-law, couldn't refuse. She went there. 393 01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:24,000 For you to know where you come from 394 01:07:24,042 --> 01:07:28,417 And my aunt... I've got another name. It's my aunt's name, an English name, "Ellen". 395 01:07:28,459 --> 01:07:31,459 and for you to know where you're going, you have to know your past. 396 01:07:31,501 --> 01:07:33,918 I don't use it, though. I don't like it. 397 01:07:33,959 --> 01:07:36,876 There are other things that you don't need to be told, 398 01:07:36,918 --> 01:07:40,834 My aunt also went to the field, but my grandpa didn't know it. 399 01:07:40,918 --> 01:07:43,292 'cause you just see them for yourself. 400 01:07:43,334 --> 01:07:48,001 My mother told me: My grandpa wanted to rape my mum, but she ran away. 401 01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:50,000 When I used to grow up 402 01:07:50,083 --> 01:07:54,751 But my aunt saw everything. When my mum went home 403 01:07:54,792 --> 01:07:58,001 I used to go to different churches, but I never understood them, 404 01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:03,083 she didn't tell anyone. But my aunt asked her: "What was he trying to do to you?" 405 01:08:03,125 --> 01:08:08,167 'cause I could see they were telling me different stories from what I was seeing. 406 01:08:08,250 --> 01:08:11,459 Here, if you refuse to go to church, or if you are against the church, 407 01:08:11,501 --> 01:08:18,167 That same night, my grandpa chased my mum away, with nothing, only with us. 408 01:08:18,209 --> 01:08:21,584 they will tell you that you've got evil spirits. 409 01:08:21,626 --> 01:08:24,417 If you try to dig more about your roots and your culture 410 01:08:24,501 --> 01:08:28,584 My mother went to where my father was working. But there was nothing he could do. 411 01:08:28,667 --> 01:08:33,584 they'll tell you that you're now praying to other gods, 412 01:08:34,542 --> 01:08:40,250 you're bringing evil spirits in the house. 413 01:08:41,083 --> 01:08:46,000 I was young, but I remember that my grandpa told my father, 414 01:08:46,042 --> 01:08:49,001 But you cannot run away from the fact that 415 01:08:49,083 --> 01:08:52,250 in front of me: "You don't deserve being with this woman." 416 01:08:52,292 --> 01:08:54,501 we are Blacks, and we are Africans. 417 01:08:54,542 --> 01:08:56,792 Because he wanted her, also. 418 01:08:56,918 --> 01:09:01,918 When my father got another woman, a bitch, she was fat, 419 01:09:03,751 --> 01:09:08,001 my grandpa slept with that woman, 420 01:09:08,751 --> 01:09:13,334 and they've got a baby together. But she was my father's woman. 421 01:09:14,167 --> 01:09:19,334 So my mum had to suffer just because she didn't want to sleep with him. 422 01:09:19,834 --> 01:09:24,667 And also my mother told me that my aunt and uncle slept together. 423 01:09:24,751 --> 01:09:28,250 It's just a family thing. 424 01:09:28,667 --> 01:09:34,001 My mum was the first daughter-in-law, because my father is the first born. 425 01:09:34,918 --> 01:09:37,667 She saw a lot of things. That's the reason why, 426 01:09:38,167 --> 01:09:42,001 when my father left, she never went back. 427 01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:49,083 I've realized that our people, our ancient elders... 428 01:09:55,417 --> 01:10:01,542 The way they used to pray: they used to go under the tree, 429 01:10:02,001 --> 01:10:04,876 singing and chanting, 430 01:10:05,292 --> 01:10:09,667 drinking African beer for seven days, 431 01:10:09,709 --> 01:10:12,000 After about a year 432 01:10:12,083 --> 01:10:14,501 asking for rains... 433 01:10:14,667 --> 01:10:16,834 my father just packed his things. 434 01:10:16,918 --> 01:10:21,667 They'd be calling all the spirits. Here in Zimbabwe we've got 12 different totems. 435 01:10:21,751 --> 01:10:23,834 He took clothes and a radio. 436 01:10:26,584 --> 01:10:32,250 It was better for us. I was really good at school, 437 01:10:32,501 --> 01:10:34,501 I was one of the best. 438 01:10:34,918 --> 01:10:38,751 But seeing your parents fighting every day, in the street... 439 01:10:38,918 --> 01:10:41,542 Now we were staying in the "ghetto", no longer in the camp. 440 01:10:41,584 --> 01:10:44,001 For you to talk to God, you have to pass through our gods, also. 441 01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:47,501 They even told my father he couldn't be in the camp because 442 01:10:47,667 --> 01:10:50,918 he was always fighting with the wife. So they put him outside. 443 01:10:50,959 --> 01:10:53,959 You ask your god to pass your message, your claim, 444 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:57,167 But in the "ghetto"..., you know life in the "ghetto". 445 01:10:57,250 --> 01:10:59,292 to the highest one, to the God above. 446 01:10:59,334 --> 01:11:02,083 It wasn't good. Every day there would be crying and screaming. 447 01:11:02,417 --> 01:11:05,209 It wasn't nice. It even affected my education. I didn't want to go to school any more 448 01:11:05,250 --> 01:11:10,000 It would be under a big tree, called 'muhacha' in Shona. 449 01:11:10,042 --> 01:11:14,834 'cause every one would be talking about me: "Her parents are always fighting". 450 01:11:15,167 --> 01:11:19,876 "And the father is a police officer. How can he do this." 451 01:11:19,918 --> 01:11:30,626 They used to wear different types of clothes, made with material like this one, no shoes. 452 01:11:30,667 --> 01:11:32,709 And most of them had dreadlocks. 453 01:11:32,751 --> 01:11:36,417 So my father left us. My mother couldn't afford to pay the rent. 454 01:11:36,459 --> 01:11:41,459 No perfumes, no make up, no what. Just natural. 455 01:11:41,501 --> 01:11:46,001 Before that, the evening that my father left, he came and took us 456 01:11:47,501 --> 01:11:51,125 to his parents' house. My grandpa said: 457 01:11:51,167 --> 01:11:54,125 People are still doing it, but no longer under the tree. 458 01:11:54,209 --> 01:11:57,501 "You have to choose who you want to stay with. 459 01:11:57,751 --> 01:12:00,667 If you want to stay with your mother, you go with her. 460 01:12:00,834 --> 01:12:04,083 If you want to stay with your father, you stay here." 461 01:12:04,501 --> 01:12:09,250 But you know, every child will always say "with mama". 462 01:12:09,334 --> 01:12:13,709 They'd be calling different types of spirits, and the spirits would be talking. 463 01:12:14,001 --> 01:12:17,000 So we all chose to be with our mother. 464 01:12:18,083 --> 01:12:22,834 Ah, I'll never forget that night, the way we were treated: thrown out. 465 01:12:22,876 --> 01:12:25,542 If something's gonna happen, they'll say it. 466 01:12:25,584 --> 01:12:30,001 My grandpa took a spear. He wanted to kill us. 467 01:12:30,501 --> 01:12:33,501 "How could you choose to go with a witch, with a prostitute?" 468 01:12:33,584 --> 01:12:37,876 But we were young: I was 12 and my brother and sister were 10. 469 01:12:37,918 --> 01:12:40,626 Some will say "This is bad", some will say "This is right"... 470 01:12:40,667 --> 01:12:47,250 And we knew what happened at home: every time my dad was drunk, he beat up my mum. 471 01:12:47,667 --> 01:12:51,959 Every time he was drunk or found another woman, there'd be no peace. 472 01:12:52,001 --> 01:12:53,834 This material... 473 01:12:53,918 --> 01:12:59,083 We knew about it. So we wanted to be with our mother, though she wasn't working. 474 01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:02,876 Before I knew what it means, I fell in love with the colours. 475 01:13:02,959 --> 01:13:10,000 We were thrown out. My grandpa brought the spear: "Though they are my son's children, I'll kill 'em. 476 01:13:10,501 --> 01:13:13,918 How could they choose to be with this woman?" 477 01:13:14,001 --> 01:13:16,459 Somebody told me: "Ah, no, 'ndezvemashavi', that's for evil spirits." 478 01:13:16,501 --> 01:13:19,417 Then he beat my mother up, in front of me. 479 01:13:21,167 --> 01:13:26,834 Touching her, pressing her breasts. I thought she was going to die. 480 01:13:27,167 --> 01:13:34,001 We screamed and cried. Even our uncles beat us up 481 01:13:34,250 --> 01:13:36,751 so that we wouldn't cry. 482 01:13:37,250 --> 01:13:40,667 The neighbours heard it and called the police. 483 01:13:41,834 --> 01:13:45,000 The police came and they paid a fine. 484 01:13:45,417 --> 01:13:51,250 But as my father was also a police officer... There's no justice. 485 01:13:51,334 --> 01:13:55,751 An African woman should always cover her head. 486 01:13:55,792 --> 01:14:00,417 And we went back home. 487 01:14:02,918 --> 01:14:05,918 And the following day my mum was looking for a place to stay. 488 01:14:06,083 --> 01:14:09,167 She found a room, and there we went together. 489 01:14:09,918 --> 01:14:13,667 It was really hard. My mother wasn't working. 490 01:14:14,834 --> 01:14:21,584 For her to pay food, clothes, fees and everything was really very hard. 491 01:14:22,083 --> 01:14:28,083 She started going clubbing. Ah, it was something else. 492 01:14:29,001 --> 01:14:35,501 I could understand it, but for my brother and sister it was something else. 493 01:14:37,751 --> 01:14:41,584 My mother said: "I can't take care of you any more. 494 01:14:42,167 --> 01:14:47,334 You have to go back and tell your father you don't want to stay with mama any more." 495 01:14:47,375 --> 01:14:50,042 ...just to be guided and protected. 496 01:14:50,584 --> 01:14:56,001 Me, I didn't want. I refused. I told her I wouldn't go there. 497 01:18:01,417 --> 01:18:05,417 We decide to visit the Todinis. 498 01:21:32,834 --> 01:21:34,167 Pain and freedom, 499 01:21:34,375 --> 01:21:35,918 death and happiness, 500 01:21:36,083 --> 01:21:38,292 Nehanda's dreams were made of. 501 01:21:38,876 --> 01:21:41,001 Chains around our motherland, 502 01:21:41,209 --> 01:21:44,125 her pride could not think of being headed off to 503 01:21:44,292 --> 01:21:46,083 beggary and slavery. 504 01:21:46,292 --> 01:21:48,375 Nehanda sharpened her spear, 505 01:21:48,876 --> 01:21:53,542 she handed the ceremonial battle axe to Kaguvi and Chingaira 506 01:21:53,918 --> 01:21:55,000 and uttered: 507 01:21:55,292 --> 01:21:57,501 "Murenga and Nyathi, 508 01:21:57,834 --> 01:22:00,167 send the soldiers to war. 509 01:22:00,667 --> 01:22:05,417 You may be as many as the grains of sand in a river bank, 510 01:22:05,751 --> 01:22:09,001 but you must not stem from our sorrow 511 01:22:09,125 --> 01:22:13,876 and your children must not be fattened by the blood of our breasts." 512 01:22:14,501 --> 01:22:18,501 Oh, Nehanda, sister of the jungle lion prophet Chaminuka, 513 01:22:18,876 --> 01:22:21,667 as your spirit roams the hungry scorched earth, 514 01:22:22,167 --> 01:22:24,792 lisping in and out of the plush vegetation, 515 01:22:25,001 --> 01:22:28,459 fertilised by the rotting flesh and blood of patriots, 516 01:22:28,834 --> 01:22:33,501 can you not see that your dreams have remained but dreams? 517 01:26:10,751 --> 01:26:16,459 My father was a loving and caring father. 518 01:26:17,667 --> 01:26:20,501 He used to do a lot of things for us. 519 01:26:21,125 --> 01:26:25,751 He would beat my mum, he wouldn't give my mum food, 520 01:26:26,209 --> 01:26:29,209 but he would give us food. 521 01:26:29,584 --> 01:26:33,292 He'd prefer to come and pick us from school, 522 01:26:33,542 --> 01:26:37,250 taking us to a restaurant or café. 523 01:26:37,626 --> 01:26:41,626 What he didn't want was to give my mother food. 524 01:26:43,001 --> 01:26:46,417 He didn't even want a teacher to beat me. 525 01:26:46,667 --> 01:26:51,834 I remember when I was beaten up by a teacher, and he wanted to suspend me. 526 01:26:52,626 --> 01:26:57,000 Ah, he was very angry. 527 01:26:57,959 --> 01:27:06,918 To be honest, my father never yelled at me, never beat me, never... 528 01:27:07,834 --> 01:27:12,209 I don't know how to explain it. Even my young sister and my brother. 529 01:27:13,001 --> 01:27:14,751 He used to watch for us. 530 01:27:15,626 --> 01:27:18,250 When my mother used to go to South Africa 531 01:27:18,375 --> 01:27:24,000 he would come from work earlier, around 11, and cook for us. 532 01:27:25,459 --> 01:27:27,584 He would watch for us. 533 01:27:30,125 --> 01:27:34,459 I was big enough to do all the things, but he was doing everything for us. 534 01:27:34,876 --> 01:27:39,000 He would go visiting places with us. 535 01:27:43,417 --> 01:27:46,042 He was a loving and caring father. 536 01:27:50,042 --> 01:27:52,876 Even if he went clubbing, 537 01:27:53,042 --> 01:27:56,709 he'd come late, around 12 or 1, but he'd wake us up, 538 01:27:57,209 --> 01:28:03,459 he'd bring us some chips, meat, give us our pocket money for school, 539 01:28:03,751 --> 01:28:08,167 take us shopping, do a lot of things for us. 540 01:28:10,751 --> 01:28:14,001 It was really nice and I really miss it also. 541 01:32:05,417 --> 01:32:08,083 My father, 542 01:32:09,250 --> 01:32:11,667 from the first time that I knew him... 543 01:32:13,334 --> 01:32:17,417 Actually my father is a very quiet person, if you see him. 544 01:32:18,334 --> 01:32:26,292 He doesn't talk much but he's always happy. 545 01:32:27,334 --> 01:32:32,250 But, as far as I can remember, 546 01:32:33,334 --> 01:32:38,667 he was very violent, especially to my mum. 547 01:32:42,001 --> 01:32:48,209 My father would come home drunk and beat my mum up, for no reason at all. 548 01:32:48,959 --> 01:32:53,751 If my mum asked: "Where did you sleep?", he would say: 549 01:32:53,918 --> 01:32:59,417 "Who are you to ask me?", and start beating my mum. 550 01:33:01,584 --> 01:33:07,083 It was something we knew it would happen every night. 551 01:33:07,250 --> 01:33:11,292 Even in the camp where we used to stay, they knew about it: 552 01:33:11,417 --> 01:33:16,626 "This family every night would be fighting and fighting..." 553 01:36:56,417 --> 01:36:58,584 It's so surprising. 554 01:37:02,167 --> 01:37:05,667 Those people didn't even say sorry about my mother. 555 01:37:13,918 --> 01:37:19,918 They're so... Ah, pretending they love me, but we haven't seen each other for more than... 556 01:37:19,959 --> 01:37:25,542 But this other day my father came in the evening with my mother. 557 01:37:25,626 --> 01:37:29,918 I don't know... I love them, but... I didn't like their welcoming. 558 01:37:29,959 --> 01:37:32,209 I was sleeping in the landlord's house. 559 01:37:32,250 --> 01:37:34,334 It was nice, but... I wasn't expecting that. 560 01:37:34,417 --> 01:37:37,501 He came and woke me up: "Tanya, you have to come tomorrow to my work place. 561 01:37:37,542 --> 01:37:40,584 I wasn't expecting to be loved so quickly. 562 01:37:40,626 --> 01:37:42,542 It left me suspicious. 563 01:37:42,584 --> 01:37:47,083 I'll give you money to buy whatever you want." 564 01:37:47,501 --> 01:37:49,001 And them... 565 01:37:50,584 --> 01:37:52,542 They'd be around, but not 566 01:37:52,584 --> 01:37:55,083 So in the morning I went there. He wasn't there. 567 01:37:55,167 --> 01:37:57,125 being there for you. 568 01:37:57,167 --> 01:38:00,167 Then I phoned him. He said: 569 01:38:00,250 --> 01:38:02,250 No communication, no what. 570 01:38:02,501 --> 01:38:06,167 I knocked on the door, they hugged me and kissed me 571 01:38:06,584 --> 01:38:08,751 and treated me as if I am a queen. No, 572 01:38:08,792 --> 01:38:15,001 "I can't let other men touch you, while I'm around." 573 01:38:15,000 --> 01:38:17,125 I don't like people who pretend. 574 01:38:17,334 --> 01:38:22,001 Me, I talk conscious. I give thanks to Jah because I can read people's minds. 575 01:38:22,000 --> 01:38:25,000 First I didn't get it. I was young, 576 01:38:25,042 --> 01:38:27,125 I was 14 or 15. 577 01:38:27,167 --> 01:38:30,001 I look at people, I stare at people, 578 01:38:30,000 --> 01:38:32,918 He said: "Come in the evening". 579 01:38:32,959 --> 01:38:35,834 because man is very dangerous. 580 01:38:36,334 --> 01:38:38,501 You have to know the person. 581 01:38:40,250 --> 01:38:43,584 You have to know how to read his or her mind. 582 01:38:46,459 --> 01:38:50,250 I went there to his room. He was there. 583 01:38:54,667 --> 01:38:56,042 And... Can you cut? 584 01:40:12,167 --> 01:40:18,000 Why do you hate so much? 585 01:40:18,709 --> 01:40:23,001 Just because I told the truth? 586 01:40:31,501 --> 01:40:36,209 I will tell it, no matter what! 587 01:40:49,209 --> 01:40:56,209 Just because I told the truth? 588 01:40:56,876 --> 01:41:03,876 Tell it, tell it! 589 01:41:04,667 --> 01:41:09,209 Even if it's your father, say it. 590 01:41:09,792 --> 01:41:16,792 He has raped me. 591 01:41:21,292 --> 01:41:28,292 Tell it, tell it! 592 01:48:31,584 --> 01:48:34,501 We want to eat but there's no electricity. 593 01:50:47,250 --> 01:50:51,751 No water, no electricity. Zimbabwe life. 594 01:53:29,083 --> 01:53:33,083 Patience has just broken her engagement. 595 02:01:57,001 --> 02:02:00,709 A long walk to Clow Dam. 596 02:03:23,083 --> 02:03:25,667 Hello, my name's Tanya 597 02:03:25,918 --> 02:03:28,417 and I was born in Masvingo 598 02:03:28,584 --> 02:03:31,000 23 years ago. 599 02:03:33,417 --> 02:03:34,918 I love you. 600 02:03:38,250 --> 02:03:43,250 This other day he came. My mother was going clubbing, 601 02:03:45,167 --> 02:03:49,000 just trying to survive. I don't blame her. 602 02:03:52,751 --> 02:03:59,334 When my father came with my mother, 603 02:04:00,751 --> 02:04:06,001 he told me I had to come the following day. He wanted to buy me clothes. 604 02:04:06,834 --> 02:04:12,501 I was surprised. He also wanted to give me money to buy food. 605 02:04:13,001 --> 02:04:19,167 I woke up early in the morning. Before going I phoned him: "Dad, I'm coming". 606 02:04:19,834 --> 02:04:24,001 He said: "Now you can't come. You have to come later." And another thing: 607 02:04:25,001 --> 02:04:28,584 "Handina mwana anobvongonzwa nevamwe varume ndisipo!" 608 02:04:31,000 --> 02:04:36,918 It's like: "I can't let other men touch you, or sleep with you, whilst I'm around." 609 02:04:37,584 --> 02:04:44,083 First I couldn't understand it. I was young and it's deep Shona. 610 02:04:44,501 --> 02:04:47,167 I didn't even tell my mum. Then I went back home. 611 02:04:47,417 --> 02:04:51,667 I phoned again, around 4. He said: "Now you can come." 612 02:04:52,083 --> 02:04:56,918 When I went there, he ordered food for me. I ate my supper. 613 02:04:58,001 --> 02:05:03,334 Then, around 6, he called me inside, pretending to count some money. 614 02:05:04,000 --> 02:05:11,000 I was sitting on a chair. He said: "I bought this perfume for you. Do you like it?" 615 02:05:11,417 --> 02:05:15,834 He wanted to spray me, and he touched me here. 616 02:05:16,167 --> 02:05:19,417 "I'll just use it at home." 617 02:05:23,834 --> 02:05:25,501 He locked the door. 618 02:05:31,001 --> 02:05:32,918 And... I don't know... 619 02:05:50,334 --> 02:05:53,167 He pushed me so hard! 620 02:05:55,501 --> 02:05:59,417 Lifting me up, throwing me on the bed, 621 02:06:00,918 --> 02:06:07,083 But I screamed, before he closed my mouth. 622 02:06:15,167 --> 02:06:21,083 He had a knife, an 'Okapi'. I think he still has it, because 623 02:06:22,918 --> 02:06:27,167 when I first knew he was my father, he had that knife. 624 02:06:30,751 --> 02:06:34,000 He threatened me so much...! 625 02:06:39,000 --> 02:06:43,501 And... Yeah... He raped me, he slept with me. 626 02:06:44,584 --> 02:06:48,417 At that time I wasn't even menstruating. 627 02:06:52,751 --> 02:06:56,250 I was very young. I bled. 628 02:06:57,667 --> 02:07:00,501 And he threatened me not to tell anyone. 629 02:07:01,167 --> 02:07:05,667 If I told anyone, he would kill me, and my mum. 630 02:07:06,083 --> 02:07:11,000 He even said I would never see my young sister and brother again. 631 02:07:11,667 --> 02:07:14,834 If you are a kid, sometimes you just believe 632 02:07:16,250 --> 02:07:22,417 that he would kill me. But I'd rather he killed me. 633 02:07:23,250 --> 02:07:29,167 But I thought maybe he was going to kill my mum. I didn't tell anyone. 634 02:07:29,667 --> 02:07:33,001 I went back home. I didn't tell my mother. 635 02:07:34,001 --> 02:07:35,751 I just washed myself. 636 02:07:36,918 --> 02:07:39,667 My mother wasn't there. He was clubbing. 637 02:07:45,667 --> 02:07:47,834 About 3 months later... 638 02:07:56,667 --> 02:08:03,667 There was another cousin sister, who passed away. My mother had a big sister. 639 02:08:07,250 --> 02:08:09,167 And... I don't know... 640 02:08:15,584 --> 02:08:18,667 I told my cousin about it. 641 02:08:21,417 --> 02:08:24,834 She told his mother, 642 02:08:31,751 --> 02:08:33,584 who told my... 643 02:08:36,334 --> 02:08:37,584 my mother. 644 02:08:41,751 --> 02:08:44,334 The next 3 months 645 02:08:47,001 --> 02:08:49,000 I was bleeding. 646 02:08:52,751 --> 02:08:59,584 I don't know what was really happening, I was just bleeding week after week. 647 02:09:03,001 --> 02:09:07,334 It was continuing. For 3 months. Not telling my mum. 648 02:09:08,167 --> 02:09:11,834 She thought maybe I was... 649 02:09:14,334 --> 02:09:18,334 She was suspecting other things, like 650 02:09:24,501 --> 02:09:27,834 "Maybe Tanya is sleeping with boys". I don't know. 651 02:09:28,334 --> 02:09:33,417 She wasn't asking me. But she was just telling me 652 02:09:34,918 --> 02:09:41,918 "Your grandpa wanted to rape me". Whenever she was drunk she talked about it. 653 02:09:42,584 --> 02:09:48,417 But to tell her what had happened to me... It was really hard. 654 02:09:49,334 --> 02:09:56,918 When my brother told her, that's when we went to the police to report the case.. 655 02:09:58,167 --> 02:10:04,667 My father wasn't there. We reported the case. Then the following day my father came. 656 02:10:05,167 --> 02:10:08,751 He was arrested and he slept in the cells. 657 02:10:09,083 --> 02:10:16,083 The following day we went to see the doctor. He blamed us for not reporting earlier. 658 02:10:16,584 --> 02:10:26,751 But they could see I had marks, because I was a virgin when he slept with me. 659 02:10:28,876 --> 02:10:32,542 Ganja brings different types of spirits. 660 02:10:32,584 --> 02:10:36,083 And there were signs. 661 02:10:36,751 --> 02:10:40,334 They wrote everything down. 662 02:10:41,083 --> 02:10:45,334 We went back to the police and 663 02:10:45,375 --> 02:10:48,459 You can feel there's something moving, doing this, something you feel inside, 664 02:10:48,501 --> 02:10:52,001 the police did nothing. My father was released. 665 02:10:52,083 --> 02:10:55,125 you know the feeling, but I can't explain it. 666 02:10:58,042 --> 02:11:00,792 You take it to know who you are. 667 02:11:03,918 --> 02:11:09,250 I don't know what they thought. I don't know the law of Zimbabwe. 668 02:11:10,584 --> 02:11:16,209 He just went free. After about 669 02:11:16,250 --> 02:11:19,834 It's not that I like to talk about it all the time, but 670 02:11:19,918 --> 02:11:24,751 2 months, I just ran away from home. 671 02:11:25,001 --> 02:11:27,918 I went to stay in Harare. 672 02:11:27,959 --> 02:11:30,626 you have to talk about it all the time. 673 02:11:30,709 --> 02:11:35,501 That's when I started having problems in my stomach. I was vomiting green. 674 02:11:40,709 --> 02:11:43,417 I told them. I was on National Television. 675 02:11:43,918 --> 02:11:50,334 Though I didn't say my father's name, I told them he was a police officer. 676 02:11:51,167 --> 02:11:56,167 When I met my auntie, she knew it was me on TV, 677 02:11:56,667 --> 02:12:00,250 and she threatened me not to say a word again. 678 02:12:01,417 --> 02:12:05,501 When I went to hospital I told them what had happened to me. 679 02:12:05,918 --> 02:12:10,584 I just wanted justice to be done, I wanted to tell every one, 680 02:12:11,334 --> 02:12:16,167 so that I could get over it. I was suffering. 681 02:12:17,834 --> 02:12:22,083 I don't know what they were treating me with. 682 02:12:23,334 --> 02:12:26,417 100% human hair, what's that? 683 02:12:26,501 --> 02:12:35,083 Because I spent two weeks in the hospital, suffering. 684 02:12:36,834 --> 02:12:43,167 My mother had to come and take me home. 685 02:12:43,292 --> 02:12:46,292 It's running away from yourself. 686 02:12:46,792 --> 02:12:49,667 If I've got my hair like this, I should be proud of it. 687 02:12:50,501 --> 02:12:54,334 But going back home was like bringing again memories. 688 02:12:54,417 --> 02:12:58,001 I couldn't stand it. I wasn't even happy with my friends. 689 02:12:58,000 --> 02:13:00,876 It's your hair, other than taking someone's hair. 690 02:13:00,918 --> 02:13:04,918 Even when somebody tried to talk about child abuse 691 02:13:05,083 --> 02:13:09,000 I could feel that maybe they know, they're talking about me. 692 02:13:09,751 --> 02:13:12,751 I was just lonely, even not talking to my mother, 693 02:13:12,918 --> 02:13:16,001 she was just busy, drinking and clubbing. 694 02:13:16,334 --> 02:13:18,000 But me I was... 695 02:13:19,918 --> 02:13:22,918 very lonely, no friends, no what. 696 02:13:23,000 --> 02:13:28,584 I just wanted to be alone, spending the whole day in my mum's home. 697 02:13:30,167 --> 02:13:32,834 That's when I bought... 698 02:13:33,417 --> 02:13:36,667 My mother had left me money to buy meat, 699 02:13:38,584 --> 02:13:42,751 and I decided to buy chloroquine, for malaria. 700 02:13:43,584 --> 02:13:47,501 I took 10 of them. I was very lucky, 701 02:13:48,083 --> 02:13:50,751 because when I was feeling the pain, I went out 702 02:13:51,417 --> 02:13:56,334 and I told the landlady I had taken tablets. 703 02:13:57,667 --> 02:14:01,334 So she phoned the ambulance and I was taken to the hospital. 704 02:14:01,417 --> 02:14:03,501 And I survived. 705 02:14:04,667 --> 02:14:06,209 Then I came back. 706 02:14:06,250 --> 02:14:09,334 If I want, I can put it like this. I can even plait it on my own, if I want. 707 02:14:09,375 --> 02:14:12,834 Now it was news everywhere: "Tanya wanted to kill herself." 708 02:14:13,083 --> 02:14:15,000 And people wanted to know why. 709 02:14:15,334 --> 02:14:18,834 And the people who knew about it would be talking about it. 710 02:14:19,918 --> 02:14:21,959 I really want to talk to the people. 711 02:14:22,001 --> 02:14:24,042 I tried a second time, after a month, but I didn't take too many. 712 02:14:24,083 --> 02:14:27,292 I know one day I gonna reach to them, one day they gonna listen to me. 713 02:14:29,209 --> 02:14:32,250 There's a lot of things I want to say 714 02:14:32,709 --> 02:14:35,667 so that they understand what life is all about, 715 02:14:35,751 --> 02:14:37,792 Yeah. And then I stayed with my mum. 716 02:14:37,834 --> 02:14:39,375 so that... 717 02:14:39,667 --> 02:14:42,042 they don't run away from themselves. 718 02:21:21,751 --> 02:21:25,751 Chiwoniso invites us to spend Sunday in Westgate. 719 02:25:15,042 --> 02:25:18,250 The reason why I want to change my surname 720 02:25:19,083 --> 02:25:21,709 is because of my family, 721 02:25:22,459 --> 02:25:26,751 of the people using the same surname that I'm using, my relatives. 722 02:25:27,167 --> 02:25:29,083 And my father. 723 02:25:30,959 --> 02:25:34,709 What they did to me, and to my mother... 724 02:25:36,959 --> 02:25:41,876 I just feel I can't be part of them, I can't be in their family, 725 02:25:42,125 --> 02:25:45,001 because they are very heartless. 726 02:25:45,751 --> 02:25:47,959 They are cruel. 727 02:25:50,501 --> 02:25:55,167 They don't feel for others. They're very selfish. 728 02:25:58,417 --> 02:26:01,959 They made our life miserable. 729 02:26:02,167 --> 02:26:08,626 For my father to do what he was doing, it was because of his family. 730 02:26:09,042 --> 02:26:11,792 There are other things I don't even blame him for: 731 02:26:12,709 --> 02:26:16,417 I know it was his family. 732 02:26:19,584 --> 02:26:23,792 Like when my parents were getting divorced: 733 02:26:24,584 --> 02:26:33,459 My father left us with no food. We'd go to my grandparents to ask for food. 734 02:26:34,417 --> 02:26:38,209 They said they don't have. They wouldn't give us food. 735 02:26:38,584 --> 02:26:42,959 My mother would give me a letter: "Can you just buy these kids 736 02:26:43,626 --> 02:26:47,000 one loaf of bread?" But they said they didn't have any. 737 02:26:47,209 --> 02:26:51,250 They'd let us to starve, though they had everything. 738 02:26:53,209 --> 02:26:57,584 So, I don't know... I can't just use that surname. 739 02:26:58,042 --> 02:27:02,626 I wish if I just could change it and have another family, 740 02:27:02,959 --> 02:27:05,542 other relatives. 741 02:27:06,792 --> 02:27:12,626 Now they don't even know where we live, how we live. 742 02:27:13,792 --> 02:27:16,626 They don't even care, they don't even ask. 743 02:27:17,083 --> 02:27:19,626 They're just heartless, the whole family. 744 02:27:19,876 --> 02:27:22,167 I don't know what's wrong with them, but... 745 02:27:22,918 --> 02:27:25,209 The way they treated us, ahh...! 746 02:27:36,417 --> 02:27:42,334 Three months after the rape 747 02:27:45,417 --> 02:27:50,001 I discovered I was pregnant. That's why 748 02:27:50,918 --> 02:27:54,584 I had to tell my brother. 749 02:27:56,083 --> 02:27:59,834 Because I was scared. 750 02:28:06,334 --> 02:28:12,083 When we went to report it, my mother told the police I was pregnant. 751 02:28:13,083 --> 02:28:17,417 We went to the hospital. The pregnancy test was positive. 752 02:28:20,584 --> 02:28:25,501 When my mother realized the police were doing nothing about it 753 02:28:25,918 --> 02:28:34,334 she started looking for African medicines to remove the pregnancy. 754 02:28:35,918 --> 02:28:41,918 It tokk me 2 months to have an abortion. 755 02:28:42,417 --> 02:28:49,667 I was drinking it every day, early in the morning, before taking anything. 756 02:28:50,751 --> 02:28:57,417 When I was 5 months pregnant, that's when I had an abortion. 757 02:28:59,584 --> 02:29:05,501 At that time I was giving up, because she was saying: "You just take it in the morning 758 02:29:05,834 --> 02:29:09,501 and in the evening it will be gone." 759 02:29:09,918 --> 02:29:17,667 I really wanted to die, because after 5 months everybody could see I was pregnant. 760 02:29:23,417 --> 02:29:28,334 The week when I said I'd better die, I saw blood when I was sleeping. 761 02:29:28,584 --> 02:29:35,167 My mum knew. She called an ambulance, I went to the hospital and had an abortion. 762 02:29:35,751 --> 02:29:38,001 But I saw my baby. 763 02:29:39,417 --> 02:29:41,667 She was a girl. 764 02:29:45,667 --> 02:29:49,501 I think I'm glad I had an abortion, because... 765 02:29:52,001 --> 02:29:56,250 That baby... My father's baby... My baby... 766 02:29:58,834 --> 02:30:02,751 My sister... and my baby... 767 02:30:10,001 --> 02:30:16,667 I regret... It's not that I didn't want to abort. 768 02:30:17,334 --> 02:30:20,584 But there's nothing I could do. Even my mother. 769 02:30:20,834 --> 02:30:26,667 It was going to be something else. Even in the city, or the rural areas. 770 02:30:28,584 --> 02:30:32,918 How was I going to tell that baby, 771 02:30:33,334 --> 02:30:37,667 when he, she, it was a she, 772 02:30:38,001 --> 02:30:40,667 asked where her father is 773 02:30:40,918 --> 02:30:46,083 and I'd show her her grandfather? 774 02:30:51,250 --> 02:30:54,000 What my father did to me... 775 02:30:59,667 --> 02:31:06,334 He made me not to trust nor believe any man. 776 02:31:10,001 --> 02:31:13,667 It took me a long time for me to have a relationship. 777 02:31:19,417 --> 02:31:23,584 When a man tries to touch me 778 02:31:24,417 --> 02:31:27,667 that picture will come back to me. 779 02:31:28,083 --> 02:31:34,918 When they try to kiss me, or make love to me, I fight. 780 02:31:37,584 --> 02:31:40,751 My other boyfriend was even surprised: 781 02:31:41,167 --> 02:31:43,751 "What's wrong with you? Are you possessed?" 782 02:31:49,167 --> 02:31:56,167 He ended up leaving me, talking about me: "You can't even touch her, she's possessed." 783 02:31:57,834 --> 02:32:02,417 I went to an association to get help. 784 02:32:03,501 --> 02:32:06,834 They did counsel me, but... 785 02:32:09,250 --> 02:32:14,751 You think it's easy to counsel someone who has been abused, 786 02:32:15,001 --> 02:32:19,834 but it will never come out of your mind. 787 02:32:20,417 --> 02:32:25,250 No matter how they try. Yeah, it helps, 788 02:32:25,584 --> 02:32:30,834 but you'll keep seeing the picture 789 02:32:31,584 --> 02:32:37,501 Because it's been done to you. It was really difficult for me. 790 02:32:37,918 --> 02:32:44,334 Even now, though it's better... I can have a relationship, but 791 02:32:44,918 --> 02:32:49,083 it would be just trying to make my man happy. But for me... 792 02:32:49,667 --> 02:32:55,001 Sometimes it just comes back to me. Sometimes I look at him 793 02:32:55,667 --> 02:33:01,001 and he ends up asking: "Why do you look at me like that?" 794 02:33:01,334 --> 02:33:05,167 Because I'd be just checking, if I had a relationship and kids with him, 795 02:33:05,584 --> 02:33:08,834 would that man sleep with my kids? 796 02:33:10,918 --> 02:33:16,083 I don't want to be married, to be honest. I don't want to have kids. 797 02:33:16,501 --> 02:33:21,584 I don't want my children to suffer the way I suffered. 798 02:33:22,001 --> 02:33:24,334 I don't want my child to be raped. 799 02:33:25,001 --> 02:33:30,334 How can a father fall in love with his own daughter? 800 02:33:35,918 --> 02:33:41,001 It's something else. I just can't believe it, even now. 801 02:33:47,250 --> 02:33:52,417 How can the father of your husband try to rape you, the daughter-in-law? 802 02:33:53,083 --> 02:33:55,918 What kind of family is that? 803 02:33:56,167 --> 02:33:59,167 The sister sleeping with the brother. 804 02:34:00,083 --> 02:34:03,417 It's just something else. 805 02:34:05,834 --> 02:34:09,334 I don't want to be married. If I want kids 806 02:34:10,001 --> 02:34:14,501 there are so many kids in the world, so many street kids. 807 02:34:18,584 --> 02:34:23,834 I'll just take them, stay with them, no husband. 808 02:34:25,667 --> 02:34:28,501 It's not just that I don't want it to happen to my kids only, 809 02:34:29,001 --> 02:34:33,083 I don't want it to happen to any child in this world. 810 02:34:36,167 --> 02:34:40,001 I wish I could do something to protect every child. 811 02:40:25,834 --> 02:40:29,792 My ancestors' spirits, come back. 812 02:40:30,167 --> 02:40:34,501 Ah, hey, my ancestors, we welcome you. 813 02:40:43,459 --> 02:40:47,417 My ancestors, why are the children crying? 814 02:40:47,667 --> 02:40:51,042 Ah, hey, my ancestors, we welcome you. 815 02:40:51,083 --> 02:40:54,417 I'm not afraid of animals 816 02:40:55,167 --> 02:40:58,083 but I'm afraid of human beings. 817 02:40:58,334 --> 02:41:00,667 If I see a man coming from one side 818 02:41:00,834 --> 02:41:02,209 and a snake coming from the other, 819 02:41:03,667 --> 02:41:05,167 I'll go towards the snake, 820 02:41:05,167 --> 02:41:07,584 because a man is more dangerous than a snake. 821 02:41:07,834 --> 02:41:11,083 My ancestors, why is Tanya crying? 822 02:41:34,083 --> 02:41:35,334 Now... 823 02:41:37,584 --> 02:41:40,667 I have no one to talk to. 824 02:41:48,334 --> 02:41:51,334 I feel so lonely! I wish... 825 02:41:52,250 --> 02:41:56,751 I don't know why she had to die before my father died, 826 02:42:00,167 --> 02:42:04,918 before my grandpa, before the whole family of Todini. 827 02:42:06,417 --> 02:42:08,584 I just want... 828 02:42:11,001 --> 02:42:14,501 I don't know... Because... 829 02:42:17,584 --> 02:42:21,417 I wish she could comfort me. She had stopped drinking beer. 830 02:42:22,083 --> 02:42:24,834 She was there for me every time. 831 02:42:25,751 --> 02:42:29,918 But now, when I was starting to know my mother better... 832 02:42:35,834 --> 02:42:40,501 What am I gonna do? We can't go back to my father. 833 02:42:41,083 --> 02:42:45,001 Because he wanted to do the same again to my sister. 834 02:42:45,167 --> 02:42:48,334 He wanted to rape her. She had to run away 835 02:42:48,584 --> 02:42:52,083 and come back and stay with me and my mother. 836 02:42:52,584 --> 02:42:56,167 Now only my brother is staying with him. 837 02:42:57,001 --> 02:43:00,501 It's only me and my young sister. 838 02:43:03,501 --> 02:43:09,501 I don't know why he'd got to do this to us. 839 02:43:10,001 --> 02:43:13,334 At least if my mother was around... 840 02:43:15,083 --> 02:43:19,751 Now, I'm not happy. 841 02:43:27,334 --> 02:43:32,083 She went away with my happiness. She took 842 02:43:35,334 --> 02:43:37,083 everything. 843 02:43:38,501 --> 02:43:42,417 I loved her so much. She was 844 02:43:43,417 --> 02:43:46,751 our only relative. 845 02:43:48,083 --> 02:43:49,751 Now... 846 02:43:53,001 --> 02:43:55,083 it's just the two of us. 847 02:43:56,751 --> 02:43:59,918 I can't count my brother, because he's staying with his father. 848 02:44:00,334 --> 02:44:04,751 He doesn't even come here. It's been two years without seeing him. 849 02:44:07,834 --> 02:44:11,834 We are so lonely, but still... 850 02:44:14,417 --> 02:44:18,167 I wish I could ask god why 851 02:44:19,250 --> 02:44:26,083 he had to take my mother instead of killing the whole family of Todini, 852 02:44:27,334 --> 02:44:30,667 leaving my mother. She suffered so much. 853 02:44:31,417 --> 02:44:36,667 They beat her up. They wanted to kill her, they wanted to put her in the well. 854 02:44:37,001 --> 02:44:41,167 They did so many bad things to her... 855 02:44:42,751 --> 02:44:44,584 and to us. 856 02:44:46,001 --> 02:44:49,751 At least, if she was around, it was going to be the three of us. 857 02:44:50,334 --> 02:44:59,001 She was now a caring mother: no beer, just to be with us. 858 02:45:07,334 --> 02:45:10,918 Sometimes I feel that 859 02:45:14,083 --> 02:45:16,834 it's the end of the world. 860 02:45:19,083 --> 02:45:23,250 Sometimes I feel that I have to die also. 861 02:45:23,751 --> 02:45:26,751 But then my young sister 862 02:45:29,250 --> 02:45:34,250 should be alone. At least it's just the two of us; we'll be helping each other. 863 02:45:36,334 --> 02:45:43,334 But now that family is really happy. 864 02:45:47,250 --> 02:45:54,001 I don't know how I'm gonna do it, nor who's gonna help me. 865 02:45:54,834 --> 02:45:58,834 It's gonna be me and my sister. I'll make sure that 866 02:45:59,083 --> 02:46:05,501 I'll do something, I'll revenge. I don't know how, 867 02:46:06,167 --> 02:46:12,250 but I'll make sure they pay for what they did to our mother and to us. 868 02:46:12,834 --> 02:46:16,250 If the law can't do anything about it, 869 02:46:17,001 --> 02:46:19,083 for real, I'll kill them. 870 02:46:19,417 --> 02:46:24,417 I'll put poison in their food, I'll do something. I don't care about 871 02:46:25,334 --> 02:46:30,001 going to prison. I just want 872 02:46:30,918 --> 02:46:33,001 to kill them. 873 02:46:33,918 --> 02:46:36,584 I want them to die. 874 02:46:37,417 --> 02:46:43,751 I just want to make sure there's no Todini left. They mustn't survive, 875 02:46:45,167 --> 02:46:49,001 because what they did to me, they can do it to anyone. 876 02:46:52,083 --> 02:46:55,834 My father is married now; he's got 2 daughters, 877 02:46:56,167 --> 02:46:58,918 one is 5 and the other one is 3 years old. 878 02:46:59,167 --> 02:47:03,918 He can do the same thing to those kids. I want to protect them. 879 02:47:04,334 --> 02:47:09,167 I want him to die. I wish I could kill him and be sent to prison. 880 02:47:11,918 --> 02:47:16,751 I want the whole family to die, my grandpa, my aunties, my uncles, everyone. 881 02:47:17,417 --> 02:47:20,001 I want them to die. 882 02:47:22,751 --> 02:47:29,250 Because there's no reason for them to live. They don't deserve to be in this world. 883 02:50:29,918 --> 02:50:34,001 Don't you ever walk alone in the bush, 884 02:50:34,250 --> 02:50:38,001 you'd be eaten by a lion. 885 02:50:38,250 --> 02:50:40,584 I say the lion will eat you, 886 02:50:40,918 --> 02:50:42,918 my child. 887 02:50:43,167 --> 02:50:46,167 Aye, aye, aye! 888 02:50:46,918 --> 02:50:50,751 Aye, aye, aye! 889 02:53:10,501 --> 02:53:14,501 Time for a last drink at the Chelsea. 890 03:00:45,834 --> 03:00:47,751 Life, 891 03:00:48,751 --> 03:00:50,918 what is life? 892 03:00:51,751 --> 03:00:53,751 What is life? 893 03:00:54,751 --> 03:00:57,167 Have you ever gone to bed with an empty stomach? 894 03:00:58,334 --> 03:01:01,334 Have you ever been cold with nothing to warm you up? 895 03:01:02,584 --> 03:01:05,167 Have you ever grown up not knowing your parents? 896 03:01:06,417 --> 03:01:09,000 Have you ever lived on the streets? 897 03:01:10,250 --> 03:01:12,667 Have you ever been raped? 898 03:01:13,667 --> 03:01:15,000 Life, 899 03:01:15,334 --> 03:01:17,918 what is life? 900 03:01:18,501 --> 03:01:20,584 What is life? 901 03:01:21,417 --> 03:01:24,501 Have you ever become crippled? 902 03:01:25,417 --> 03:01:28,417 Have you ever been homeless? 903 03:01:29,000 --> 03:01:31,834 Have you ever been arrested for not reason at all? 904 03:01:33,167 --> 03:01:35,751 Have you ever felt lonely, with no one to talk to? 905 03:01:36,834 --> 03:01:38,918 Have you ever felt the pain 906 03:01:39,334 --> 03:01:42,083 of the flesh and the pain of the soul? 907 03:01:42,501 --> 03:01:44,250 Life, 908 03:01:44,584 --> 03:01:47,375 what is life?